Sun makes the Kafkas get naked

That's what my Dad wanted me to put as a blog headline. There was no nakedness. It's all a lie.

Last day of vacation. Beautiful hot weather. Spent all day laying out. An hour reading. I got about as tan as I could get in two weeks at the beach. Mission accomplished.

We leave tomorrow. Sunday, six women move in for their own vacation.

"Oh, a group of lesbians!" - Dad

Someone is jumping to conclusions.

We realized today that everyone forgot about Mom and Dad's wedding anniversary on the 26th. They even forgot.

Dad: You didn't get me a present.
Mom: This is your present. (referring to the vacation)

*a few minutes later*

Mom: This is the best anniversary ever!

Awwww. Happy 28th Mom & Dad. In two years Alyssa and I will throw you a big party.

The day itself wasn't that exciting. It was a day to think back on the trip. So to finish this blog off, I'm going to summarize my thoughts in a Becca Hansen plus/minus fashion.

+ I couldn't have asked for a better time to go on vacation. Wrapped up stuff before leaving. When I come back I have enough time to prepare for a move.
+ Wasn't too obnoxious in terms of travel to get here
- Would've been nice to know the state of the gravel road so we could've made sure to rent an appropriate car the 1st time around.
+ The location of the house was unreal. A remote, tropical paradise.
- Maybe too remote. It took forever to get anywhere.
+ Family bonding time was good.
- 14 days might be too long. I think a 10 day trip would've been better.
+ The house staff was SO nice. They brought a taste of Mexico to us and made the house we were staying at seem like a home.
+ Practicing my Spanish was GREAT.
++ Alyssa got over her fear of speaking Spanish and did some practicing of her own.
+ It's probably good that we didn't stay in a high traffic area like Puerto Vallarta. Dad would've insisted on going to the clubs.
- Just the idea of bringing my parents to the local club makes me cringe.
+ I had Internet! THANK GOD.
+ Falling asleep to the sound of the waves crashing on the shore. Smelling the salt. I will miss that.
++ BODY BOARDING.
-- Undertow
+ Two weeks of relaxation. I don't even know when I'll get a chance like that again...not for a while.
- Maybe too much relaxation? I'm so antsy now to use all this energy that I'm driving myself crazy.

I have to go to bed. So to wrap up a rather mediocre summary/post...

+++ The best thing about this trip was seeing my parents act like little kids. Ironically, it drove me nuts at times. But to see them so happy...relaxed...tan. Just happy to be here with their kids...it was nice. Special.
++ Maybe that means they'll think about buying a beach house of their own. : ) Or at least taking more beach vacations. And paying for my plane ticket. Next time I come though I'm taking a friend. And renting a car of my own.

Traveling all day tomorrow and then I'M HOME!! I miss my dog. I miss my car. I miss my friends.

Adios Las Mananitas y Playa de Tortugas. Tal vez nos vemos pronto.

Note to self: Wear a hat that fits

I think the last time my ass hurt like this was when I was little and fell down the stairs at my friend Lea's house and fractured my tailbone. Actually, I think that hurt way more than this. But the point is, I'm in pain. I haven't been horseback riding in years.

We made arrangements a couple of days ago to go horseback riding on the beach. It involved telling Elvira/Norma to arrange it with Sebastian, who already had an arrangement with Robert, the guy that sells all of the properties the area villas are built on. No one had Sebastian's phone #, so Norma had to stop at his place and arrange it in person. This morning at 9am, two guys and five horses arrived. The Kafka family, donned in cowboy/straw hats and jeans, went out to greet them. Elvira said I looked pretty in my oversized hat (Mom's hat), which made me feel better about feeling ridiculous. Jose Luis (Pepe) came with us on the ride while the other guy (we never found out his name) stayed behind and took a siesta on a nearby log on the beach. Before mounting the horses, Pepe asked me who was the strongest rider in the family. We've all ridden at one point or another, but I thought of my mom who grew up with a horse family of sorts. He tipped his head in the direction of the biggest horse, beautiful and sandy brown in color. "That horse likes to run."

I got on the smaller white one with brown spots.

Mom got on the tall one but her legs couldn't reach the stirrups and they weren't adjustable so Dad ended up taking her place. After settling on to our mounts, we set off at a nice steady pace (slow), trudging along the beach. None of the horses seemed to like the ocean so we stayed closer to the edge where the grass was. It was perfect weather for the adventure...not a lot of sun, but no rain and no oppressive heat/humidity. After 20 minutes, Dad started rummaging around for his camera, ignoring his horse's sudden turn towards a grass patch. Now behind us, he snapped some shots, put his camera away again and worked on catching up. Alyssa and her horse seemed rather fond of riding my ass. In fact, Alyssa's horse seemed fond of riding any horse's ass. Mom was leaning forward the whole horse ride, already feeling the dull ache in her legs. My horse and I bonded nicely. Unfortunately, the horses don't have names so everytime I patted him I made little humming sounds and referred to him as "honey." Pepe made some gestures and encouraged me to copy him. Lean back, raise the reins forward, firm feet in the stirrups, and holy S?&! WE'RE GALLOPING. And oh there goes my hat. Pepe was nice enough to turn back and get it for me. There's only a day left so I think it's safe to say he's probably the best looking guy I've seen on this vacation. Really nice smile, appraising eyes, and a gentleman.

We travelled down the beach, almost past the palm groves, before turning around and heading back. As soon as we spun around, Dad's horse (the one that likes to run) took off. I see Dad bouncing, up*down*up*down, but he looks like he's having a good time. He also looks like he has no control over the horse. As soon as his starts going, Alyssa's follows suit. So the two people with the least control are in the lead, galloping on the beach. Mom didn't want to gallop. Pepe rode alongside her and they talked about Peru, horses, his family (wife and two kids), etc. My horse had started running when Alyssa and Dad took off, but my ass was already starting to hurt so I slowed him down and we walked instead. Dad and Alyssa got back to the house at least 10 minutes earlier than we did, found the other guy fast asleep, woke him up and offered him water after he tied up their horses. When we got back, they accepted the offer for beer and pineapple. We sat around the table outside with cervezas and talked about the locals and our home/trip. Somewhere in that conversation, the mosquito man got brought up. When Pepe heard us refer to the guy as the "Mosquito Man", he doubled over laughing. He then named the Mosquito Man's four sons and said something about how he's the father of four mosquitos...I think... He also told us about the crocodiles in the estuary. He had been fishing once there and while pulling in the net, stepped on something lying on the bottom. A tail came flying out, sending him flying. The crocodiles are everywhere in the estuary, or so he says. Hmm...I thought I saw something moving along in the water yesterday...

Pepe and the other guy took their leave, each riding a horse and leading the remaining horses behind them. They walked from Otates I think, about an hour and 15 minute ride (the town is maybe 40 minutes by car from Playa de Tortugas) to get here and were doing the same thing on the return.

After they left, we ate a second breakfast, eggs with salsa. I went to my room for a bit and later went upstairs with the intent of reading. I took a nap instead. Got up. Sat down in a chair somewhere and noticed I was sore. My sister was already wobbling around. Made myself a PB&J sandwich for an afternoon snack. A 1/2 hour later, had pork, rice & potatoes for dinner (you can tell my family is tired of Mexican food).

Went to my room again and after taking another short nap there, asked Dad to make me some coffee. Went upstairs. Alyssa happened to be reading previous blog posts of this vacation and Dad and Mom peaked over her shoulder and started reading along. They had actually already come across it at the beginning of the vacation, so I wasn't surprised. Watching them laugh to the point of crying was a sight. Events are always funnier when you were there to partake... They now think I should submit this thing to a travel magazine.

The cofffee woke me up a bit, enough to do something productive. Watched the sun go down, our second to last sunset at Las Mananitas. I happened to look over the wall at the hatchery while up there and noticed a couple of guys walking around. One was in his bathing suit, carrying some kind of cooler. The other had a shirt with a popped collar. What?? ...A popped collar?? ...In Mexico??

Oh god.

Between Mom and Dad's consumption, the Tequila is on its way to being finished. Dad also has the goal of finishing the rest of the beer tomorrow. "I'm going to be drunk off my rocker!" I don't think those were the exact words used, but it was something to that effect.

One more day!

Long live the tortoise

Just another day at the house. Woke up. Eggs, avocado/tomato/cucumber salsita, toast, and mango for breakfast. Bathing suit on.

Instead of going right into my traditional sunscreen and layout routine, however, I decided to change it up and venture into the mosquito infested canoe/kayak storage area to retrieve a kayak, alongside my dad, also retrieving a kayak. After emptying kayak #2 of water, we set sail (er...or whatever).

I've never been kayaking before. After some practice, I fell into a rhythm. The estuary takes us inland, into the area that follows along the gravel road. No wonder it takes so long to get to the house. The road happens to be avoiding a giant river/swamp. Apparently, there are crocodiles if you go deep enough. Yes, this is where I was kayaking. Brilliant!

Going in, the incoming tide was in our favor, so anytime my arms got tired, I could take a quick break and still have the water pushing me in the right direction. There were a few fishermen in their boats along the way and a scattering of pelicans sitting on trees. We passed underneath the branches they were sitting on and they looked down on us with a gaze of slight interest. Until a fish jumped.

After about a 1/2 hour going in, we reached a big lagoon. At that point, I wasn't interested in going further (hello...crocodiles could be here). We turned around and started heading back. The incoming tide and wind were now against us. A lot more work and no breaks. There is a giant sandbar in the area where the estuary splits and you have a choice to go to the ocean opening or go back to the inlet where the houses are. I stuck my paddle in and 1 1/2 ft deep, hit sand. I made my way over to the outskirts, by the trees again, and the ground dropped away. Paddled my little heart out when docking so the kayak would pull into the beach on its own and pulled 'er in. I am a good sailor. Aye maties.

Washed the grime off my legs, balked at the faint shorts tan I had acquired, and put on dark tanning oil. "Screw the sunscreen!" I said. "I'm dark enough to handle this."

I am sunburnt now. But only my arms. And my thighs. It's fine.

Had more beef for dinner (BEEF! It's what's for dinner!). Dad was super excited about the potato sidedish since it's been a while since we've had potatoes. He loves potatoes.

There was a kid wandering around in the afternoon, looking up at the palm trees. He and some other guy grabbed a ladder and started climbing to the top to knock down coconuts. We ended up mooching 3 coconuts off of them, which we stuck in the freezer. Cocos helados. Mmmm.

Around 8, we glanced outside towards the beach to see if the turtle guys were around (Norma said they never leave at 8 and that's it's more like 9 or 9:30pm..."Mentirosos!" - Norma). Looked over the wall from the top floor and it looked like no one was around. We decided to venture out on our own tortoise expedition. I was lazy...almost didn't go...had already taken a shower, didn't want to put on repellent again...but then recognized my stupidity (when else are you going to see a tortoise in the wild laying eggs????). Dad seemed the most gungho about it. "It might rain tomorrow, so we should do it while we have the chance."

We set out, all four of us. Coated ourselves in repellent. Dug out two flashlights. After a 15 minute walk, Dad informed us that he was tired. "What? These guys walk 4 km! You're done NOW?" (Mom to Dad). We turned around, looking out for crabs on the sand on the way back. We did not see a tortoise. But we did see many crabs.

Watched 24. Finished Disc 4. During the second episode, Mom saw a cucaracha under the table, FREAKED OUT (although she did muster up the courage to move the table before running across the room, squealing). Dad immediately got up, stomped on it, and sat back down. Critical part of the episode. We had our priorities. Mom hates (any bold/capitals/italics I could use to format that word would not capture the extremity of her feeling towards cockroaches, so why bother) cockroaches. It was a little cockroach. She's seen bigger ones in Peru. Big ones. That come up through toilets. Yuck.

2 days left at the beach. Saturday is a travel day. I'm going to miss falling asleep to the sound of the ocean waves, but I'm definitely looking forward to coming home. : )

The sun is back!

I've been neglecting this blog since the sun made a return and I felt less inclined to bury myself in a room with air conditioning and less bugs.

Yesterday was cloudy/rainy. Went to Las Varas in the morning with my parents to get money from the ATM. Las Varas, an hour away or so, is our closest bank. My mom and I hung out in the car while Dad joined the ATM line winding around the corner. A man and a woman walked by banging drums. The man was also playing the trumpet. After waiting in line for a 1/2 hour, Dad found out there was some kind of connection malfunction and the transaction wouldn't go through. Great. No cash. No cash means no excursions. We had hopes of going horseback riding on the beach on Thursday. But it's not like the local farmer is going to take credit cards.

Made our way through a road full of cows on the return trip. Avoided the water-filled pot-holes on the gravel road, a result of the heavy rain the past few days.

Got into a shouting match with the family at some point in the day. Spent the afternoon moving on from that. All is well. I think we've all agreed to just let it be.

Watched some episodes of Seinfeld with my mom and sister. Watched a movie called Waiting for Guffman. Ridiculous movie. Hilarious for anyone that has ever been in a school play/musical. Alyssa and I reminisced.

Spent the evening watching 24.

No thunderstorms last night. Woke up in the morning and it was SUNNY!! Finally. Had huevos rancheros for breakfast aka. eggs on a tortilla chip. Met my "could you put sunscreen on my back?" obligations. There are many ways to put sunscreen on someone's back. My sister is a dabber. She splurts out a bunch of lotion in the palm of her hand and then using her other hand, dabs various spots on my back and then rubs it all in evenly. I, on the other hand, am a smacker. I splurt some lotion in the palm of my hand, smack my hand in the middle of the back and work my way out.

Dad went kayaking in the morning. I'm going with him tomorrow morning. Went for a walk on the beach in the afternoon. Laid out the rest of the day. Mom talked to the guys at the turtle hatchery next door. Apparently they walk to the other end of the beach (maybe 2 miles) every night at 8pm and monitor the tortoises coming on to the beach to lay eggs. They said we can come along one night. Might go tomorrow night.

Parents left around 5pm for San Blas to use the bank there. Alyssa and I watched Meet the Fockers. Rents came back around 9. They made their margaritas. We watched 24.

We are halfway through the bottle of Crema de Tequila. I can't describe the size of this bottle. It's humongous. My dad's margaritas consist of 3 limes, picked from the front yard, and crema de tequila. More like a tequila sour.

I've watched 7 episodes of 24 in the past 2 nights. We're on Disc 4. We have 3 discs left. We will finish by Friday night.

I love Jack Bauer.

What's the story morning glory?

I learned how to light a match. I've known how to light a match for a very long time, but as for actually successfully lighting one without worrying if it will burn my fingers off, no. Until last night. Or actually this morning. When I lit five matches in a row. Apparently, I'm now a pyro.

Yesterday was kind of boring. It was cloudy. I made an attempt to lay out, but was only there for an hour or so before I was tired of slapping away flies. I went into my room for the rest of the afternoon with the intention of getting some work done. Which didn't happen. Who's surprised? During that period of seclusion, my dad made a Yakarita (Margarita and yaka). Yaka is the weirdest fruit to clean, or so says Dad. Hard to describe, but when you open it, there's dozens of pits the size of little stones (kind of like the size of a good skipping stone, but thicker). The edible part, a deep yellow color, is buried amongst these little folds lining the inside of the skin. It tastes good...better than I thought it would...but it has a weird plantain aftertaste. I finished a piece and felt like I had just eaten a banana. I would've rather eaten a banana. Elivira helped my dad clean the yaka. Apparently, she'd never cleaned a yaka before. Leave it to the Kafkas to buy a fruit that the locals never bother eating.

The house owners came to oversee air conditioning replacement. Both are very nice. Jan is bubbly. Bruce is a character. My parents got along with them wonderfully. Their niece is starting at UConn Medical School this September. Go figure.

Took a short walk on the beach. My self-containment somehow resulted in an emotional breakdown. I sought refuge in an angry sea. Instead I found a sad sea and gray skies. Had a good cry in the rain. Came back to the room. Took a warm shower during a thunderstorm. The rainy season is in full swing now. There are thunderstorms every afternoon and they last through the night. Went upstairs to watch 24. Halfway through noon-1pm, the lights went out. No more 24. We found some candles and some matches. Waited for the thunderstorm to go to sea. Rain slowed down. I took a candle down with me to my room. Passed out.

Around 7am this morning, the power came back on. I wasn't expecting it to get fixed until later in the day. In Mexico, there seems to be an understanding that the word manana doesn't necessarily mean tomorrow, but it most certainly does not mean today. In other words, the Mexicans aren't known for response time. But the power was on. Hooray!

Usually the mosquito man walks around a little after 7am. Fully garbed in protective gear, he dons a backpack filled with insectiside and sprays the shit out of all the mosquitoes thriving on the warm morning swamp air. Didn't see/hear the mosquito man (it sounds like a dude with a chainsaw passing by your window, so kind of hard to miss). Woke up at 8, ate food, left with the family for an excursion to Nayarit's capital, Tepic. The gravel road was filled with stray cows this morning. I was convinced one of them would head-but the car. She came about 2 ft away from us, stared blankly through the windshield, and then finally veered right and cleared the way so we could continue. There were also a number of pick-up trucks scattered along the side of the road. Adults and their kids were running in the fields and swamp areas looking for, we think, crabs. Quite an event. Maybe this is what happens after every thunderstorm?

The trip took us through the Sierra Madre Occidental, up to about 4000 ft to Compostela, one of the towns in the valley in the mountains. Extremely windy roads and a climb that took about 2 hours. We descended some and finally arrived in Tepic. I've said before that people drive like maniacs here. Every few kilometers, you'll see a cross and a bunch of flowers, a memorial, marking where there was an accident and a death. We saw a lot of those today.

Tepic is bigger than Puerto Vallarta (which is more of a resort town anyway). There was some kind of fair going on so there were lots of people on the streets. Not a lot of stores are open on Sunday, but we were more interested in finding a good restaurant anyway. We had a recommendation from Bruce to go to an Argentinian steak place called Restaurant Las Pampas. Wasn't very impressed with my dish, but it was nice to have some red meat for a change. I'm sick of Mexican food. The dessert, on the other hand, was AMAZING. Crepes Cajeta: sugar caramelized on a hot pan with evaporated milk, butter, coffee liqueur, and vanilla. The crepes are then coated in this sauce and sprinkled with walnut and coconut shavings. Delicious.

We made a quick detour before returning to the coast. A quick detour can only mean one thing....Dad saw a Walmart! He dropped us off at the mall for a 1/2 hour so we could sweep through local clothing boutiques while he scoured the Walmart CD shelves. His objective: buy some cheap mariachi CDs. We came out about 45 min. later from the mall and met him at the car in the Walmart parking lot. He came out of the story empty-handed. Disappointing shopping experience for Papa Kafka.

We took a different way to get back to the house. It took about the same amount of time, but with the fog descending over the mountains, we could't see very much of the supposedly gorgeous views. The terrain up there is really different...very much jungle-ish rather than coast. The coast has tons of palm trees. In the sierra, it's more....tree-infested, for lack of a better way to describe it.

Ended the night with the rest of noon-1pm and 1pm to 2pm.

I think the pick-up truck is the equivalent of the convertible. I see more people riding on the back of those things here than UConn students riding the campus shuttle to class when it drizzles.

Yaka yaka yaka

You know you're in a latin country when...
1. The classic bug is still being driven around.
2. You have to slow down to avoid hitting a cow, dog or lizard.
3. The car of choice in the country side is a pick up truck.
4. There is a fruit stand/kiosk at every speed bump.
5. The town names refer to fruit, animals, or saints (e.g. Playa de Cocos, Playa de Tortugas, San Blas)

The objective time to leave for San Blas was 8am. Did we leave at 8am? No. Why? Because it takes us an hour, minimum, to actually get out of the house. I woke up at 7:15. I was ready at 8:15. My sister was ready at 8:15. Mom and Dad were ready at 8:45. We were on the road around 9am.

Dad has this really terrible habit of trying to look at the scenery while driving....or rather, trying to drive while looking at the scenery. My sister and I sit in the backseat, biting our cheeks and watching the road while he casually jerks the wheel as soon as he's about to run into a fence. The routine starts as soon as we leave the house, Dad scoping out the area along the gravel road, as if we hadn't already travelled the road SIX times before. THERE ARE STILL ONLY PALM TREES AND CRABS AROUND US. Nothing has changed.

The drive to San Blas, a coastal town north of us, took about an hour and half, weaving through mountain side and lush vegetation. We drove around, stopped at an artisan market. I bought more jewelry (earrings for 2 bucks...saaawwweeeett!). We stopped for an early lunch by the beach at Restaurant Alicia. The restaurants along the coast all look the same...and for the most part, all serve the same food. Various fish (pescado), shrimp (camarones), and octopus (pulpo) dishes. The restaurants themselves are typically made up of a kitchen area, a big awning, and dozens of plastic tables and chairs, covered with bright table cloths, arranged on the flattened area of beach sand by the road. We chose this place of all the others because they had a menu posted outside. Dad and I both ordered pulpo dishes. Mom and Alyssa got pescado dishes.

Getting our food took a little longer than expected, during which time multitudes of vendors with jewelry, wood carvings, and snacks came around. We bought two necklaces, two wooden tortoises, and a hammock. The women of the family are ridiculous. My dad just laughs at us. But seriously...the stuff here is all very cheap. We hardly even bother haggling...20 or 30 extra pesos is nothing for us, but significant for them. Not like I can haggle anyway. I'm awful at it. My parents are fantastic hagglers, making jokes with the vendors, etc. until they come to a price both parties are satisfied with. On top of buying more things while waiting at our table, we had a number of enlightening conversations, backed by great American tunes like Shaggy's "Wasn't Me":

Mom: "When there's a breeze, it's delicious. When there's no breeze, I hate it."
Dad: "So the ideal situation is for you to go out with a Mexican that blows on you."
Alyssa: "That sounds so bad."
[insert Kafkas chortling]

Well...I laughed anyway.

Right before we got served, Bryan Adam's "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You" came on. I heard this high pitched singing noise coming from a couple of tables over. A Mexican in a blue cutoff T-shirt was moving his head, closing his eyes, and singing his heart out. It was great.

On the way back, we stopped in a little pueblito and bought some pan de platano (banana bread). Legend has it that some hippies taught the Mexicans how to make banana bread. In this town in particular, you can get banana bread at every stand. It looks like if the Kafka ladies aren't buying jewelry, the Kafka man is buying food. He bought banana bread. He also bought pan de yaka. Imagine a watermelon-sized, green pear. That is what a yaka looks like. It grows on trees and has this weird textured skin that looks like hundreds of little nipples. We'd never seen it before getting to Mexico and for the past 5 days have talked about stopping and trying it. So we bought the yaka bread. And we bought a yaka. It smells putrid. It's supposed to taste good though.

After buying the yaka, we had a great time coming up with lame jokes that included the word yaka. Our favorite was "The yaka will make the Kafkas go caca."

Caca = poopie.

I almost embarrassed to admit I was the one that came up with that. As soon as it came out of my mouth, I looked at my sister helplessly and wailed. My father glanced at me proudly in the rearview mirror. I feel bad for the poor sap that marries me and has to deal my lameness.

We made one last stop, at the Cocodrilario, before actually going back to the house. The road leading through the mountains to the crocodile area was rocky and jungly. We stopped, coated ourselves in repellent, wandered down towards the swamp with the other tourists, and looked at the crocodiles. I actually didn't like this part of the day, since all the crocodiles were in caged in pools and such...I would've preferred to see them from some lookout point, just chillin in the swamp. But I got to see crocodile babies. A little boy wanted to hold one and got really excited/terrified when the guy handed it to him...he held it for one second before it was put back.

On the final stretch, Alyssa and I took it upon ourselves to illustrate how Dad's driving makes us feel.

I've gotten very good at killing mosquitoes. It's an art really. The trick, it seems, is to not be scared of making some noise. Mosquito killing is noisy. Loud slaps/claps and vocal exclamations are required in this process. For example:

*BZZZZBZZZ* "ah, mosquito, mierda, donde se fue, ahi, matalo" *CLAP*SLAP* "ugh...gross."

Got back to the house around 4. Ate some fruit. Read. Took a nap. Ate some more fruit. Watched two episodes of 24.

Mom, Dad and Alyssa are all sleeping in the vacant house next door tonight because their air conditioning is still shot. Luciano came yesterday and fixed two of the 3 (including mine...which is working fine). Alyssa's needs to be replaced. The rents' stopped working overnight. Luciano, and the house owners (Americans) will be here tomorrow to replace what needs to be replaced. So it's just me tonight at Las Mananitas.

Feeling optimistic

I came to Mexico in hopes that I could somehow avoid gaining weight. I get here and it seems that I'm getting more food thrown in my face than sun. When we stay at the house for the day, I get up around 8:30ish. Elvira and Norma make breakfast by 9. Fresh pineapple, freshly squeezed orange juice, eggs, yogurt with various fruit cut up and thrown in, a little salsa with avocado, tomato, onion, and cucumber, and coffee. I'm fine with a bowl of cereal. Or fruit. Or yogurt. But the fabulous Elvira and Norma make a humongous breakfast...I feel bad if I don't eat as much as I can. We get lunch around 2pm-4pm, depending on when they prepare it and when we feel like eating it. That usually has some rice dish, beans, pork/fish/chicken, salad, more fruit, more orange juice, and more salsa. And then, we eat dinner around 8...about an hour before I find my room, post on this thing, and pass out. Sometimes lunch and dinner are sort of combined/extended to fulfill one another's duty. Othertimes, dinner is fruit and salad. Today dinner was extensive. Norma went to the fish market and came back with a giant fish. We made ceviche out of one half (Peruvian style), grilled the other half, and boiled the fish head and bones to make a fish broth for soup (only my dad would insist on not wasting the fish head for soup in tropical, humid weather...the last thing we want is soup). Big soup was lunch. The grilled fish, salad, etc. was dinner. Mom and Alyssa said they didn't feel like fish, so they only had a bowl of salad. Being a Daddy's girl ( and unable to disappoint), I served myself a piece of fish. I wasn't hungry. At all. But Dad made the fish because we had it. And I would've felt guilty if he was the only one eating it after putting in all the work to cook it.

Summary: If I come back uber-fat in a week, it's because I would've felt guilty for not eating all the damn food.

Note: The fact that I ate two tequila-filled chocolatestoday was my own stupid decision.

I've been thinking about my inability to say no (in relation to the food issue just described) and it makes me think of when I was a kid and used to stuff every single stuffed bunny, cat, dog, bear, etc. (about 75 stuff animals total) into my bed, leaving about two inches of space for me, because I felt guilty for enjoying the bed and covers and warmth while they sat idly on the shelves, wishing they could be sleeping with me. Every animal had to be covered. That usually meant they were all slammed up against each other under my sheets. Obviously, suffocating them under the covers among their stuff animal brethren made more sense than giving them the freedom to hypothetically frolic and more importantly, breathe. I can't be the only one that did this??? Looking back on it, maybe I should've just made them all blankets.

We went body boarding again but the waves were really strong so were weren't out there for too long before the current made it impossible to continue without freaking Mom out.

We have a turtle hatchery next door to our house. March to December is nesting season. The dudes at the place go raid the nests after the turtles have laid eggs, hatch them, and then release them during the winter months, which is apparently a big rental time since people come to help/watch the little turtles go to sea.

I started reading a new book called The Optimist. So far, it’s a rather pessimistic book on human society. I’ll finish that book before the trip is over and steal Alyssa’s copy of 1984 since I never read it and she brought it along to read for school (she's reading something else anyway).

Finished off the day with a family viewing of two episodes of 24, season 2 and a margarita.

Final note: Today I received not one, but EIGHT "If you start taking Penis Enlarge Patch, the worlds attention will be drawn to your dick" emails in my Huskymail account, all received within 2 minutes of each other. I really am a very lucky girl.

Driving in Mexico is stressful

BarefootV13: you connecticut people
BarefootV13: keep bailing on me
cam 3882: ok mexican person
cam 3882: connecticut people psht
BarefootV13: dude
BarefootV13: the mexicans are friendly
BarefootV13: i'm back in the homeland yo

Ah my latin brethren. My people. You understand, don't you?

It’s raining right now. The only problem with it raining is that fact that when I wake up in the morning I’ll be battling monstrous, pissed-off mosquitoes. This is apparently a dry wet-season for this part of the country – it’s only rained two times or so and the rainy season started in June. It’s still really green though..so maybe it’s not so dry? I don’t know. Elvira said it was a dry wet season.

Not only is it raining, it’s thundering. (Lightning) CRASH!! *flickering lights* I’m snuggled up in my bed (MY AIR-CONDITIONING WORKS AGAIN WEEEE) typing away on the computer. I’m tired. But I can’t go to sleep really. I’m by myself…and the truth is, I never quite got over my wiiiiitttttle-bitty fear of thunderstorms. They’re cool and all, but when the thunder and lightning is doing its thing at night, I get a little freaked out. I'm in a strange place. I have no one to cuddle with.

We went to Puerto Vallarta today. The traffic was kind of horrendous, so it took us like 3 hours to actually get to the downtown area. We parked, walked around the malecon (the area by the water with shops, restaurants, vendors, etc). I was starving. Alyssa was starving. I had to pee. My dad has an awful habit of stopping at EVERY single restaurant to look at the menu. Every time we go on vacation, our quest for food turns into this complicated decision…we end up taking an hour to find a place to eat. I think I was already in a bad mood when we got out of the car…only because of that knowing expectation of wasting time. We looked around…Dad didn’t want to eat Mexican food…the rest of us didn’t give a damn. We saw a Hooters. A Mexican Hooters playing Mana (great Mexican band…LOVE THEM…we go way back). We walked in, used bathrooms, ordered fries to tide us over until we could find something more appealing and drank HUMONGOUS beers (unnecessarily large). I actually have been staying away from beer the majority of the trip, but my parents ordered for me. I drank half of it. My dad finished mine and finished off the half of my mom’s in addition to his own. We walked back on the malecon, stopped at stands to buy jewelry and eventually made our way back to the car. My dad looked at my mom at that point and said “You need to drive. I drank too much beer.” Mom: “I don’t want to drive.” Me: “I’LL DRIVE!!!”

My dad had his doubts. I’ve never driven before in a latin country. Latins drive like maniacs. But my Boston driving experience apparently came in handy. I was aggressive, I pushed through, almost got into an accident a couple of times but it was all good. We got to the rental car place, switched the Dodge Stratus for a minivan. I drove that back to the house too. We stopped at the Walmart again. Turns out my mom forgot to pack a bathing suit. She bought one at the Mexican Walmart. Two actually. AND my dad bought boxed wine. California boxed wine. WHO buys California boxed wine when they’re traveling in Mexico? Who freakin' goes to Walmart when they're out of the country? TWICE. He did buy two bottle of Tequila though. I don’t think we’re allowed to bring back the amount of alcohol he bought….so it looks like we have some work to do in the next week and a half. I like Tequila. I’ll make good use of that. Maybe I’ll make margaritas and pour it into a bottle as a backup in case we run into restaurant troubles later in the week.

My parent's air conditioning has officially gone caput (sp?). My sister's isn't doing so well either. Elvira said they repaired them before we arrived. They're calling Luciano to come fix them tomorrow. I don't really get why mine is working right now. I guess I don't really care so long as it keeps working : ).

Body boarding saved my life

After writing a rather melancholy post last night, I tucked myself into bed, making note of the fact that it was kind of warm in my room and that maybe my A/C was having problems...I dozed off anyway thinking it would resolve itself. I woke up two hours later...sweating. No, not hot flashes. Heat. Humidity. Lots of it. In my supposedly air conditioned room, all was well the first two days. Something happened yesterday. I have no idea what. It still doesn't seem to be working well...the green light means it's on. A steady green light means it's working. My green light is blinking at me, teasing me, torturing me, as if to say, "don't like the humidity? take that you new england mother fucker." I spent the rest of the night waking up every couple of hours to remove another piece of clothing. Finally ended up in a pair of underwear, a sports bra and no sheets. I would've slept naked, but you never know when my lizard friends will crawl in my bed.

The first thing I did when my computer alarm woke me up to the tune of Jackson 5's "I Want You Back": stretch out on my sister's bed. In her beautiful, air-conditioned room.

An hour later, after cooling down, I ate breakfast, drank some coffee, and of course, laid out. Around noon, my mom called out from her walk on the beach. Dolphins! My sister and I ran out to the beach to watch them play in the waves. It looked like they were catching fish and having a fabulous time. After watching them for 10 minutes, I started playing in the sand, intent on making a dolphin sand sculpture. I stopped when the incoming tide rendered my beautiful sculpture useless. So much work and sand all over me. I waded into the water to wash off. I started jumping waves and laughing hysterically everytime I lost my balance. The water down here is ridiculously warm...high in the 80s. Crazy hot for ocean water. Crazy hot in general. The waves further in looked fun but not out of control, so Alyssa and I decided to grab the body boards, despite numerous warnings that it "wasn't swimming water." We spent an hour and a half riding waves into shore. I felt like a little kid. It was AWESOME. Screw whatever I said yesterday about not wanting to be in the water. If I have a board, I'm happy. I wish I knew how to surf. First item on the to-do list for when I eventually move to California: learn how to surf.

I would've laid out some more after coming in, but the time in the water made my face a little red so I instead sought comfort on the balcony where the ocean breeze is strongest and read for the rest of the afternoon. Finished book #1.

My hair changed color. It is now a light brown color with blond highlights instead of auburnish. The power of the sun.

Tomorrow is Puerto Vallarta. We're switching our Stratus for something more capable of carrying our luggage..a minivan supposedly. Hallelujah!

Storm coming in

It's the third day in and I'm starting to feel a little claustrophobic...odd since I'm in the middle of nowhere and there's a body of water as far as the eye can see. Part of it might have to do with the fact that I can't take a car for a drive. I HATE not being able to go driving. Even if I did have a car, there's no way in hell my parents would let me go driving around the Mexican countryside on my own. Not that there's much to see that we haven't already seen. But even that is relatively insignificant. No, the real reason for the claustrophobia...you've all been on family vacations. I have a great relationship with my family. We're all very tight. But TWO WEEKS. I am 22. I might very well me the only person my age still taking family vacations. If I didn't have internet where I could converse with people my own age (and even have a one-way video chat with Michael Tosca), I swear, I'd be in very bad shape right now. During the day it's fine. I lounge. I eat. I read. At night is when I'm done reading, done eating, done lounging, and done hanging out with my family. And that is when I start to feel a little bit lonely, for lack of a better word. I don't have my guitar (good thing since the humidity would've been a shock for it) and we have no CDs so we can't play any music on the CD player.

We met Elvira and her daughter Norma today. They cooked breakfast and lunch for us and cleaned the house. Chato the gardener showed us how to turn on the waterfall on the pool. We went for a walk on the beach in the morning. Laid out the rest of the day. Mom and Dad got sunburned. I ready the latest issue of Rolling Stone. Thunderstorm clouds started drifting in our direction in the late afternoon. I sat outside and watched the lightning strike the beach...but went inside when I started getting eaten alive by mosquitoes.

I have decided I am not a lover of swimming in the ocean. I LOVE being near it, seeing it, smelling it. I don't have this extreme need to go in it. I live for watching it though...the way it changes, the sheer power of it. Right now it's an angry, desolate sea...which kind of fits my mood.

I have a TV and DVD player in my room. I was excited when I found the third season of Seinfeld in the living room. I stuck a CD in and much to my dismay, found out the DVD player doesn't read the disc...or any disc I stick in it for that matter. Disappointing.

I am a recluse for the night. Surfing the internet for artists making things happen in their musical careers. Geez, someone send me some sour patch kids.

Mapache: 1; Kafkas: 0

I woke up this morning around 5AM and spent the next two hours dozing off and on. A little after 7AM my mom knocked on the door and told me that a mapache (racoon) had a fiesta in the kitchen. We made the mistake of leaving the doors unlocked...the furry beast pushed the doors open, ate the chilis rellenos (but only the coating, not the chilis themselves), two mangos, and two bags of banana chips. And he knocked over our garbage. Lovely. This apparently happened around 4AM. We also have a crab in our kitchen.

After a breakfast of soft-boiled eggs, yogurt, and cereal, we were in bathing suits and on the beach. Alyssa and I ventured into the ocean a bit. The current is strong and apparently there's a bad undertow so we didn't go too far in. I'm terrified of sting rays...when I was little, the idea of one scared the living bajesus out of me and my cousins. They're supposed to hang out in the water here. I'm being a paranoid wimp...which is a bummer, since I want to go body boarding. We spent a couple of hours sunning on the sand while Mom and Dad took a walk on the beach. Went back to the house, fished two crabs out of the pool, went swimming, and laid out again. I can't talk enough about the oppressive humidity. It's hot. Humid as hell. But I think I'm finally starting to get used to it. Hopefully we have a thunderstorm tonight so it cools down a little.

Warmed up the food that Elvira (the maid) left for us and then laid out again. I made an attempt at working on my thesis redraft around 2...my papers were flying around, so that crashed and burned. Took a nap on a hammock. Woke up with rope marks down my back. Whoops.

Around 4:30, we took showers. The plan was to maybe take the canoe to the closest town, Platanitos, a 10 minute trek across the estuary near the casa. That idea was tossed as soon as the padres checked out the boat and got attacked by a swarm of mosquitoes. We took the car instead. The air-conditioned car was a much nicer ride without the excess luggage weighing it down. It took us about a 1/2 hour to get back to the main road, following the gravel road from Playa de Tortugas and eventually taking a left towards Platanitos. We had dinner with the locals, listened to Mexican music blasting from a jukebox, bought earrings from a woman selling jewelry, and then left. We missed the turn but then just decided to go 10 minutes down the road to see what was there. There was a dead horse on the side of the road...not so nice. Drove through Ixtapa and stopped in San Isidro and bought a couple of cocos and platanitos. They sold sling shots, the real deal, for 15 pesos (like a $1.50)! My sister and I each got one. Before we left, the woman at the stand broke the drinking coconuts open using a machete, stuck a straw in each and handed them to us. Fresh coconut milk...mmm...so good.

Finally headed back to the house after a 20-min side-trip, turned on to the gravel road, made our way around a cow that was walking along the side, gazed admiringly at the palm tree groves and mango plantations, and laughed when we saw cows running (seriously, have you ever seen a cow run? they are the laziest beasts ever). Mom cringed everytime we went over a bump...she's convinced the car is going to fall apart. So did Alyssa since coconut milk spilled over and on to her skirt. I made fun of her. It was a good day.

Day 1 - Adventures in the Mexican boonies

There is a lizard hanging out on the ceiling about 5 feet away from me. I'm not sure I'm totally comfortable with this...he keeps chirping/squealing at me...and the fact that he's only 5 feet away from me when he used to be across the room makes me think that as soon as I fall asleep he's going to come visit me.

We arrived in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico today safe and sound without a flight glitch (yay!). Last year, the first two days of family vacation were a complete disaster, flight delays, lost luggage, etc. PV is hot and humid as hell. Not the prettiest place I've ever been, but not ugly. The house we're staying in is an hour and a half north of the city (that's what we thought anyway), in another Mexican state (PV is in Jalisco, the house we're staying at is in Nayarit...which happen to be in two separate time zones). Our first task upon deboarding the plane was to find our way out of the damn airport. The lack of signs and signature Latino chaos turned what should be relatively simple into a 10-minute venture in the wrong direction. But we eventually found our way through customs, baggage claim, the rental car check-in and (hallelujah!) outside the airport to wait for a micro to pick us up and bring us to the rental car place. We had reserved a van...the only thing available that could seemingly fit our two weeks worth of luggage. Much to our horror, the gentlemen at Dollar Rent-A-Car (or whatever the hell it's called) brought out the equivalent of a UConn Community Outreach Van (in white), bearing a whopping 150,000 miles and a large dent on the hood. We discussed other options and after much stuffing and rearranging, managed to pack the suitcases and four human beings into a Dodge Stratus...hmmm. Drove out of the rental car place, got a little lost looking for a supermarket to buy water/milk/beer/munchies and (*sigh*) ultimately came upon a Walmart Supercenter and Sam's Club. For those of you that know my father, the appearance of a Walmart/Sam's Club totally made his day. We stopped, bought the necessary items (I made the mistake of sending in Alyssa with my dad...the worst combination of shoppers) and at around 4:30 pm, were on our way north towards Las Mananitas, our casa for the next two weeks.

Driving to the house was supposed to take an hour and a half. About an hour and a half in, we started to see signs directing us to Playa de Tortugas (Turtle Beach). Our next hour (or more) of travel involved driving as slowly as possible over speed bumps, bottoming out a laughable number of times, and at the final 3 km stretch, making 3 of the 4 passengers walk towards the house while the driver took off to unload baggage. Our car, already low to the ground, needless to say did not do well on the gravel road leading to the middle of nowhere that is our vacation spot. We rolled over rocks and coconuts. Alyssa and I thought it would be hysterical if we came back with a "a-coconut-made-our-car-fall-apart" story. We're terrified of bringing the damn thing back with luggage. Which means we're probably going to look into getting a new rental for the second week so our return to the aiport on the 29th isn't a nightmare.

So...

The bad news: Our car could potentially fall apart in the next week.
The good news: the house we're staying in is GORGEOUS. It's right on the beach...pacific ocean...sunsets....beautiful. I claimed the room with the separate entrance as my haven...it's kind of like having my own apt. And I have internet. I'm a poor excuse for a recluse.
The so-so news: There are actually two lizards in my room.